I did not MEAN to cut you off this morning on my 1.5 hour commute to work, it’s just that I was in the right lane and you were in the left, and the right lane was moving and your ‘fast lane’ wasn’t … but then my right lane stopped moving and your lane started to move and you forgot to put your foot on the gas and left a wide open area for me to sneak it.
Wait, did I say I cut you off? Now that I think about it, I didn’t cut you off, did I? You let me in and then you tried to take it back. Indian giver, you.
Please don’t be mad at me for your indecisiveness — it’s not fair that I have to hear you laying on your horn for a whole 5 seconds and then look in my rearview to see your hands flailing like a maniac. You eventually stopped but your right hand kept going up every once in awhile… were you just waving at me to say “Oh Hi!!”? I saw your mouth moving — but I couldn’t hear, my windows were up.
Eventually our two lanes became one, and you seemed really excited. I watched as you zigged and you zagged right and left And then suddenly, WHOA … you almost hit an old man walking on the shoulder. That sure calmed you down.
All this while moving about 10 mph — seriously lady — you don’t have to remind me that we are driving in good old New Jersey – road rage capital of America. I know — I live here too.
I thought smiling at you and giving you the thumbs up would brighten your day, but then your face started getting really red and you accidentally flipped me the bird. Accidentally, right?
I really hope that me being in front of you didn’t make you get to work or where ever you were going much later than you intended.
Anyway, I recommend a few sessions of anger-therapy and maybe some feng shui crystals to carry around.
I hope to see you again on Monday, and instead of 1 thumbs up, I’ll give you 2.
Sincerely,
Me.
the thumbs up ALWAYS works