What was I on??

I found one of my old sites, from back in 2004, which I guess really isn’t that long ago. It’s post-donmat era … and pre-TH era …

I think I was lost. Read on:

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2004
TITLE : SPELLING MISTAKES

** if you could read this without getting … jumbled … power to ya, man. **

…

I’ve been reading about this Zen shiat, not that I’ve been focusing on it, just that the book I’m currently reading mentions a lil ’bout the practicing of it.

Here’s a good quote:

“The first level is where you get into thought yet have no thoughts, get into attachments yet have no attachments, this means that thinking of removing of sickness is thought.  To think of getting rid of sicknesses in the mind is to get involved in thought.

Sickness means obsessive thought. To think of getting rid of sickness is also thought. Therefore you use thought to get rid of thoughts. When you get rid of thoughts, that is called having no thoughts. This is why we speak of getting into thought having no thoughts.

When you take thought to get rid of the sickness that remains in thought, after that the thought of removal and the thoughts to be removed all become nothing together. This is what is known as using a wedge to remove a wedge.
When you can’t get a wedge out, if you drive another one in so as to ease the tightness the first wedge comes out. Once the stuck wedge comes out, the wedge driven in afterwords no longer remains there.

When sickness is gone, the thought of getting rid of sickness no longer remains, so this is called getting into thought to have no thought.

To think of getting rid of sickness is to be attached to sickness, but if you use that attachment to get rid of sickness, the attachment won’t remain, so this is called getting into attachment to have not attachment.”

…

Um…o—-k, now if I have any spelling mistakes or mis-typed words it’s because I didn’t clean my thought, I was thinking about hitting the keys and that made me have thoughts, but then I began to think that I shouldn’t think, so I didn’t which made me dumb and forget hot to think, therefore I think that thinking is a good thing, I think. Uh…ok-time for bed I think. =0)

What the hell was I smokin’???

//no, i don’t actually smoke… anything.//

Maybe I was drunk then???

//maybe, b/c I had my first real alchy drinking session a few months prior. I was 23. How sad … a story for another day.//